Monthly Archives: October 2006

Made a decision

Have made a decision that I am feeling happy about.  About time you say! 

It’s January.  Honour my commitments at church till end of Dec 06 and go from there.

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To whinge or not to whinge…

Seems like my blog has turned into my ‘whinging’ place.  Certainly hadn’t planned to do that, although there hasn’t been a specific plan about what my blog would be.  Would like to say that I’m in crisis- that would be easy.  Am certainly struggling, but not in crisis ( I do have a habit of blowing things out of proportion 🙂 ).

This blog has taken place though of the journalling I used to do, but not completely.

Had our big 120 yesterday.  All in all I think it was a great day.  Lots of people, fun and fellowship.  Me?  Well… still angry and frustrated about things, but I wasn’t going to go into that here- is a bigger picture thing.

It was good to see people I hadn’t seen in ages.  Still have a nagging question- what was the point?  Full church but collection down again.  Lots of catching up with old friends but now lots of people absolutely exhausted. 

It would be so easy to walk away.  Too easy?

Dropped my bundle again

Have ‘crashed’ in the last 48 hours. Haven’t done that for a while. Just want to crawl into a ball and hide for a while. Too many things to do though.

It’s Tuesday

Don’t want to get too predictable!

Is our big 120 service at church this week- really can’t be bothered with it.  I don’t know… my heart just doesn’t seem to be in it.  Have given up feeling guilty about how I feel about church.  That’s just what I feel and for now that’s gonna have to be that.

But do I have to put on a happy face this Sunday?

The church thing…

Well my confusion about church still continues.  Went to my brother and sister-in-laws church yesterday as my nephew was being baptised.  Had a God moment in one of the songs at the end of the service- music is ‘my thing’ and I am usually more attracted to the music than the lyric, so when a song grabs me lyrically I tend to take notice.  About time I reckon.  Things have been crazier than usual lately… car breaking down, moving house, concerns about money… the only thing I have had to hold onto is God and He’s got me through again.  It was so nice to feel something again- to be captured by God as His people worship Him together.  At my church I’m usually consumed with making sure I’m ready to do the next song and feeling pretty empty.

Do I know what’s going on?  No, but I’m getting a few clues… just need to put them all together.  Think it’s going to take some time.

Feeling dazed

Just come back from a week at the Grampians, and what a trip it has turned out to be!  The trip there was quite uneventful. 

During the week my sisters and I managed to lose a camera (left behind on one of the walks), a branch fell on our parents car and my car died at Kaniva on the drive back.  I was with friends, so I was able to leave my car there overnight.  Drove back to Kaniva yesterday with other friends and a car trailer, and towed it back to Adelaide.  RAA tow to mechanics this morning and now a $1200 bill for a reconditioned gear box.

Feeling dazed… got to pack the house this week and move next weekend… will it ever slow down?  Btw, had a lovely time in the Grampians.  A beautiful and peaceful place.