the battle

It feels like a battle today. Tired. Stressed. Got stuff on my mind that’s making it hard to concentrate. Things haven’t worked out today like I thought they were going to. What’s new really? This is life I know, but today it just feels like a real battle… and it’s waging in my head. I should know by now just how powerful thoughts can be… how they can pull you in any direction. And if you are feeling sad and tired, then it’s easy to follow the stuff that feeds that sadness and tiredness…

the battle continues, but it feels better just talking about it


black hole

Jumped into one tonight. Thought about comfort eating… mainly chocolate and ice cream. Bought the choc but haven’t eaten it yet. I know it’s silly… the more I type the sillier this all seems. Tired tonight. Frustrated. Had such a good day too. Should stop jumping.

Conference 2011

Awesome SMG Conference this year.  Challenge, training, prophecy, worship.  What else could you ask for?  A real mountain top experience…

but I’m not ready to come down the mountain yet to the everyday

Have a new favourite song:  ‘Revelation Song’ written by Jennie Lee Riddle.  Hope the link works below.  Am a bit out of practise!

Learning to love the song

Listening to my Bruce Cockburn mix at the moment. Am finding more and more that when I am feeling low or sad that music helps lift me. Am lucky that I can listen to music at work- would have been even more unproductive this week without it.
Am glad the term is nearly over. I’m tiring quickly now… has been a very busy, long and emotional school term with family stuff going on too. Looking forward to a rest.

I’m back

Just been reading my blog.  I hadn’t realised just how long it had been.  Seems like ages ago.  Would love to tell you that all is well.  Would love to say that I haven’t gone backwards with depression.

I don’t have a place to speak at the moment.  I listen… it’s my job, it’s the role I have in most of my relationships.  It’s just what I do.  I need someone to listen to me.  Even if no one reads this I will have had the chance to say something.

Today I am sad.

Don’t want to

Seem to spend a lot of my time saying that I don’t want to do stuff, running away from people and my commitments.  Then when I do walk away for a while I seem to spend my time blobbing in front of the television or sleeping.  I know I have choices and that I can choose to do something different.  I don’t know.  Part of me thinks I should be better than this.

Am injured again.  I chose something different, something I was looking forward to.  My body just hasn’t held up its end of the bargain.



Originally uploaded by Jane Adamson.

More irises.