Well it’s all done. New Pastor installed/inducted/commissioned- still not sure of correct word. Anger… well I’d like to say it’s gone… maybe just pushed to the side for a bit… don’t have the energy to maintain it. I nearly lost the plot… nearly pulled out twice (the second time just before the event).
Everything just seemed to crash in at the end of a trying 3 week period. Not feeling anything in particular about anything. Sometimes it would be nice to feel ‘normal’ again.
It’s days like today when I really question why I still am actively part of the Anglican Church. Our new Minister has arrived and we are having the Installation/Commissioning service next week (I’m not sure of the correct name). Being the church’s goto person with music, I have been assisting with words for the songs and chasing up copyright stuff. But tonight I received an email about changing the words to the songs our new minister has chosen. Maybe I am extra sensitive as I don’t see the need to change the words, but mostly I guess I am because I am a songwriter myself and I would be very angry if someone decided to change the words without my permission. It makes me cross that Diocesan guidelines do not allow for the individual style of music used in our church and in the Anglican churchas a whole.
Is is worth all this anger… no I guess not… but it is worth some self questioning about what I choose to be involved in and give my time to. Currently I am not prepared to move and I’m willing to withdrawal from it all. I have come too far in my walk through and with depression to choose to go backwards.
After my complaining a few posts ago, an amazing thing has happened- I have been given a laptop on permanent loan. Now I only have to buy a little bit of software and I can get on connecting up all those things… like iPod, doing work at home, etc… that I was wanting to do. God’s provision in my life! 🙂
Originally uploaded by Jane Adamson.
As promised, a photo of Ariel. Very newborn in the arms of Dad. A very welcome and loved addition to our family.
After an absence thought I might try and blog again today. Lotsa stuff going on, just not been able to put it all into words. An achy sadness today (am hoping is because I’m tired) but life is like that. The problem is that the more I think about it the more it hurts and right now I just don’t have the energy to deal with it.
We’ve had some wonderful news in our family- my niece was born Thursday 5th July: Ariel Rebecca 5lb 8oz, 53cm long. Will find a photo to post on here so stay tuned! 🙂