connections continued

been reading some more on Glasser and Choice Theory

Choice Theory�… It states that all we do is behave, that almost all behavior is chosen, and that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun. In practice, the most important need is love and belonging, as closeness and connectedness with the people we care about is a requisite for satisfying all of the needs.


We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World


our quality world

Choice Theory posits the existence of a “Quality World” in which, starting at birth and continuing throughout our lives, we place those things that we highly value: primarily the people who are important to us, things we prize, and systems of belief, i.e. religion, cultural values and icons, etc.


the reason for all this waffle is that I have been thinking a lot about who/what is in my quality world and whether I need to change some of the pictures I have in there…

marriage and family are in my quality world but they are also something that I don’t have at the moment… it seems that some of my feelings around these issues are popping up in situations that I think are inappropriate… (the vault is not locked down as tight as I thought!)

i don’t have the words I want


the vault

saw my pysch last week… don’t get me wrong, it is helpful… I guess I want to put all the pieces together faster than they are happening

seems I have this ‘vault’- don’t let anything in or out (my protection mechanism)

seems like the stuff in the vault needs to come out

problem is, I don’t know how to let some of this stuff out, and when it does come out, I don’t know how to deal with it, or I think that the timing is inappropriate so I push it back in

I don’t like what I see and I’m having a lot of trouble reconciling what I thought I was to what I actually see

and I’m pushing away some of the people who are closest to me… I can’t stop it… I want to reach out to them but the pull to protect myself is bigger

if you can’t find me- I’m stuck in the vault