We should have celebrated this together today. Yet most of me is relieved that we didn’t- I didn’t have to think of a present for you, think about party options or worry about how you would behave at family celebrations today.
The pain I feel about how bad things were is still there. The pain I feel about losing you is still there.
The anger I feel towards you is still there. I did not deserve to be treated that way.
You did not deserve to be treated in such a way that put you in the care system either. And I’m angry that the system cannot give you what you need.
I don’t have the answers. Anniversary #1 without you. Happy 14th birthday.