Unhappy?

Last week someone said to me: “I hear that you’re unhappy”.  After a few moments of ‘oh my goodness me, where did you hear that?’ and ‘what’s mum been saying?’ I tried to put my head and mouth into gear and not reveal too much of myself.

I have been unhappy, and angry too… and trying to hide it all.  Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, my family have heard me raving and ranting lately, so I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised that they want to stand up for me and be protective.  That’s their job.

I am a self confessed control freak.  But it’s this ‘nature’ of mine that is causing the unhappy and the angry.  And now I feel like a little bit of my ‘protective’ wall has been peeled away.

If I’m honest (even just for a minute) I’ve been unhappy for a while now.  The Church that I chose to stay and be a part of, to stay and be part of the solution is a place where all I feel is overworked and taken advantage of.  I don’t know where I fit and it’s uncomfortable and unsettling and confusing.

So yes, I am unhappy- even a feeling a little bit exposed.  Am getting over the anger.  Why is it so hard for me to tell people face to face?