Conference 2011

Awesome SMG Conference this year.  Challenge, training, prophecy, worship.  What else could you ask for?  A real mountain top experience…

but I’m not ready to come down the mountain yet to the everyday

Have a new favourite song:  ‘Revelation Song’ written by Jennie Lee Riddle.  Hope the link works below.  Am a bit out of practise!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8Pj2ha9uzM&feature=related

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Learning to love the song

Listening to my Bruce Cockburn mix at the moment. Am finding more and more that when I am feeling low or sad that music helps lift me. Am lucky that I can listen to music at work- would have been even more unproductive this week without it.
Am glad the term is nearly over. I’m tiring quickly now… has been a very busy, long and emotional school term with family stuff going on too. Looking forward to a rest.

I’m back

Just been reading my blog.  I hadn’t realised just how long it had been.  Seems like ages ago.  Would love to tell you that all is well.  Would love to say that I haven’t gone backwards with depression.

I don’t have a place to speak at the moment.  I listen… it’s my job, it’s the role I have in most of my relationships.  It’s just what I do.  I need someone to listen to me.  Even if no one reads this I will have had the chance to say something.

Today I am sad.

Don’t want to

Seem to spend a lot of my time saying that I don’t want to do stuff, running away from people and my commitments.  Then when I do walk away for a while I seem to spend my time blobbing in front of the television or sleeping.  I know I have choices and that I can choose to do something different.  I don’t know.  Part of me thinks I should be better than this.

Am injured again.  I chose something different, something I was looking forward to.  My body just hasn’t held up its end of the bargain.

Frustration

After a 2 year break I decided that I would like to play softball again.  I have been playing it since primary school, and at club since I was 13 (apart from a few seasons).  I was really looking forward to playing today, although a little nervous, and was relieved to get my first safe hit.  Everything going well until I ran- something that I had been doing for the whole match- and ‘backed up’ first base and I felt my left calf muscle tear.  It’s not the first time- I have torn both calf muscles previously- and this time it’s not as bad as before.  Still, there goes being able to go to the gym for a couple of weeks, and I now have a slower start to the season (complete with some rehab).

I’m just frustrated.  Maybe I’m getting old.