Last week of term

Hooray it’s the end of term! Eleven weeks makes for a very long term, tired teachers and tired students. Nothing like 2 weeks of holidays to recharge the batteries!

It was another good week, yes again tiring, but I’ve also been doing split shifts with my OSHC work this week too. Have been trying to use my Choice Theory training in my interactions with the children. It was great when the Principal walked into my office in the middle of me working with children to see us working on the Total Behaviour Car- she could back up what we were doing and continue to encourage the children to take responsibility for their behaviour.

I’ve been thinking lots about choices the last couple of days. In the past 18 months and my journey in and through depression and anxiety I have finally seen that I do have choices, and that I can make choices for myself. For me, depression was a place where I felt frozen and out of control, controlled by my circumstances and my out of control emotions. Mind you, they were feelings that I had pushed and pushed down, and not dealt with. Well, finally I’ve had to deal with them. Anyway, now I’m starting to see the responsibility that is linked with taking control, with making choices, especially when there are things that I don’t necessarily want to do, but that I need to do. There’s probably nothing new or life shattering in that, but for me it is something that shows me that I’m moving and changing and growing and still questioning. And that’s good.

Jane

cut and paste

a ‘cut and paste’ life- much too easy methinks

the reason for all this waffle is that I have been thinking a lot about who/what is in my quality world and whether I need to change some of the pictures I have in there… (the rest is here)

connections continued

been reading some more on Glasser and Choice Theory

Choice Theory�… It states that all we do is behave, that almost all behavior is chosen, and that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun. In practice, the most important need is love and belonging, as closeness and connectedness with the people we care about is a requisite for satisfying all of the needs.

and

We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World

(http://www.wglasser.com/whatisct.htm)

our quality world

Choice Theory posits the existence of a “Quality World” in which, starting at birth and continuing throughout our lives, we place those things that we highly value: primarily the people who are important to us, things we prize, and systems of belief, i.e. religion, cultural values and icons, etc.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choice_theory)

the reason for all this waffle is that I have been thinking a lot about who/what is in my quality world and whether I need to change some of the pictures I have in there…

marriage and family are in my quality world but they are also something that I don’t have at the moment… it seems that some of my feelings around these issues are popping up in situations that I think are inappropriate… (the vault is not locked down as tight as I thought!)

i don’t have the words I want

the vault

saw my pysch last week… don’t get me wrong, it is helpful… I guess I want to put all the pieces together faster than they are happening

seems I have this ‘vault’- don’t let anything in or out (my protection mechanism)

seems like the stuff in the vault needs to come out

problem is, I don’t know how to let some of this stuff out, and when it does come out, I don’t know how to deal with it, or I think that the timing is inappropriate so I push it back in

I don’t like what I see and I’m having a lot of trouble reconciling what I thought I was to what I actually see

and I’m pushing away some of the people who are closest to me… I can’t stop it… I want to reach out to them but the pull to protect myself is bigger

if you can’t find me- I’m stuck in the vault